


If I Only Knew

by swiggitypikachu



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Modern AU, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:39:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6522001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swiggitypikachu/pseuds/swiggitypikachu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt<br/>AU where your enemy’s name is on one wrist and the soul mate’s name is on the other, the soul mate’s name is invisible until you kill your enemy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Only Knew

_ You need to kill the target’ they said, ‘we both share a common enemy, it’d be beneficial for both parties.’ You stared blankly at the bodies of suits. ‘You are an assassin, do not forget.’ _

 

Picking up the heavy weight of your school books, you stroll out of your classroom and take a much needed deep breath of fresh air. Walking out of the Engineering faculty of the university, the students are greeted with numerous amounts of decoration for the upcoming Festival of Spirits: bright drawings of the spirits such as Raava, posters of the different programs happening at the city’s festival, bright banners and colours plastered on the walls. And considering the fact that Republic City is known for its extravagant fireworks display for this event, everyone is looking forward to this weekend.

“Hey Asami!” you hear someone call out your name from behind.

Craning your head around, you find the brothers walking towards you. A brooding tall Mako sipping on his cup of coffee, and a usual bright and smiling younger brother, Bolin.

You smirk at the sight as they catch up to you. “Well aren’t you in such high spirits for the festival this weekend Mako? You’re face truly livens up the mood.”

“Shut up,” Mako mumbles, “I just had the most confusing class of my life.”

“My condolences bro.” Bolin pats his older brother on the shoulder, “don’t worry, you can have my shoulder to cry on when Professor Beifong fails you.” After a low grumble from Mako, Bolin turns to you, “hey let me help you with that.”

“Oh no it’s oka-“ you start but unsurprisingly Bolin insists and takes half the weight from your hands. “Thanks as always Bolin.” You smile as he waves it off with another bright smile of his.

“C’mon let’s go eat lunch I’m starving!” he shouts and jogs ahead toward the cafeteria leaving you two behind.

* * *

 

You’re all at the lunch area holding your trays of food that you all bought from the rip-off cafeteria store, but it’s the weekend and you’re too hungry to care. There’s a simple ham sandwich on your tray accompanied by a small salad that looks decent enough to eat. 

You bite down into your sandwich as you and Bolin fangirl animatedly about the latest Pro-bending match; the Semi-final match up between the Wolf Bats and Badgermoles. Mako on the other hand, is sprawled on his seat fast asleep (after intaking gallons of coffee and crashing) with his trusted and dearly loved red scarf draped over his eyes. Gotta love post-secondary.

“Did you see her fake and jab that knocked out the other waterbender?” you ask Bolin who was literally jumping up and down. 

“Yesh!” he exclaimed while somehow still being able to breathe and talk with his mouth literally filled with noodles. “She’s amazing! She could punch me in the face and I’d thank her for giving me that honour.”

Mid-laugh, you suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder and tense up immediately. Then instinct suddenly takes over before you even realize. “Woah calm down Asami, it’s just me. Ease up on your grip!” the voice behind you hisses in pain.

Mentally shaking your head awake, you find your entire weight shifted on your chair as if you’re about ready to spring up and strike the intruder behind you. Along with the fact that you have your right hand gripped hard onto the wrist of the person, a perfect grasp to judo flip them on the spot.  _ Calm down _ , you tell yourself. You clear your throat out of embarrassment and recompose yourself in front of your friends. 

“Um, sorry Korra I didn’t know it was you.” you explain bluntly, “you know how easily frightened I get when people touch me unexpectedly.”

Korra sits down beside you while rubbing her now death-grip-free wrist. “It’s alright. It’s easy to forget honestly, especially with your whole ‘I will kill the nearest soul’ face you have when you get pissed. I’m surprised that you’ve never killed a man before.”

Bolin leans over from the other side of the table and jokingly whispers to Korra, “You’ll never know bro. Maybe she killed dozens already but the cops haven’t found her yet. Y’know, secret ninja assassin kind of level.”

Korra gives off a laugh and pushes Bolin’s face back to his side of the table. “Oh shut up bro, she’d never kill me a hottie like me. I trust her with my life. Right ‘Sami?” she turns to you with that bright lopsided smile of hers.

“Of course.” you pull a small smile on your face as you let the words fall out of your mouth.

* * *

 

The streets are adorned with bright lights at night. Music ringing through the fairgrounds. Families from around the world came and are rushing into the alleys filled with games, food and street performers. The city is as lively as it’s ever been. You and the crew walk around laughing and smiling enjoying the atmosphere. You mostly spend more time with Korra goofing around and taking countless of selfies together with random street performers.

“Ohh oh! Take a picture of me with that dude Asami!” she bursts out randomly as you’re walking through the foods section of the fair.

You shake your head as the water tribe girl pulls you along with her by the wrist, “Korra, he’s not a street performer. He’s just a regular man.”

“I know but still! He looks cool!” Korra sang, jumping and smiling at you.

You can’t help but burst out in laughter at her randomness as she walks up and initiates a conversation with the poor confused man. Korra’s lively energy could be felt a mile away with her constant enthusiasm and smiles that it’s not a surprise when you see the man ease up and laugh along with Korra (maybe she made a joke?). You hate to admit it but you can’t help but stare at her from where you stand. Her hair is tied up in a small spiky ponytail that looks so adorable. She ditched her usual hoodie and sweats and donned a blue autumn coat and nice jeans with her brown fur-boots that she always wore during chilly days. Korra’s never ending excitement make her face glow with such happiness it’s so cute. Her smile is as bright as ever, maybe even brighter than all the lights combined in this festival. She’s beautiful, you finally conclude.

_ ‘You’re an assassin, do not forget.’  _ a voice echoes in your head.

You rip your eyes away from Korra in a heartbeat and grip the water bottle in your hand tightly.  _ Don’t lose sight of your objective _ , you repeat to yourself over and over. After forcefully shoving down your previous thoughts, you start to calm down gradually. You hear someone calling your name and look up to find Korra waving for your attention.

“You okay Asami? It looked like I lost you for a bit,” she asks in concern after she walks back to you.

You give off a small laugh. “I’m fine don’t worry, I just remembered that I have a project due soon.” you lie as you play with your hair for a bit, to help strengthen your false reasoning.

Korra playfully shoves your arm, “Aw c’mon you nerd it’s the Festival of Spirits! I won’t let my friend stay stressed on my favourite holiday, let’s go eat something, I’m starving.”

“When are you never hungry?” you tease as you let the girl drag you to a noodle stand nearby.

* * *

 

“It’s weird y’know, those tattoo name things some people have on their wrists.” Korra speaks out her mind.

You’re both lying down on the grass at an empty area of Kyoshi Park. The Festival has exhausted you both, so you decided to take a stroll around the peaceful garden. But walking around also grew tiring so you and the water tribe girl are now lying down, enjoying the star-filled sky which were also filled with the occasional streaks of the spirit lights gliding across to greet the Festival. It was peaceful. Perfect.

“Tattoo name things?” you ask as you turn your head away from the sky and towards her direction.

And there she is: staring at the sky that is as almost as beautiful as her. Almost. Her tan face seems to glow regardless of the fact that it’s dark out; but that Korra’s for you. You can’t help but look at her features, given that you’re lying down so close to her. Her jawline, her neck, her face, her everything. She takes your breath away for that moment without even trying. It infuriates you sometimes on how easily she can do that to you but at the same time you love it. Korra then turns her head towards yours and then you see her lips. You find yourself staring at them. Her soft lips moving so gracefully it taunts you to just close the space in between and kiss her.

A hand waves in front of your face. “What?” you blink back into reality.

“Earth to Asami, are you there?” Korra waves her hand in your face once more.

You blink a couple more times, “Uh yeah. Sorry I was just lost in thought.”

Korra gives you a small smile and you swear that you saw a tinge of pink on her cheeks. “Anyways what was I saying? Oh yeah the tattoo name things. I’m sure you’ve heard of it,” she continues while thankfully brushing off your slightly embarrassing spacing-out moment. “Well they’re not actually tattoos but they do kinda look like that to me because it’s in black, and y’know most tattoos of names nowadays are in black because aesthetics or whatever, but that’s besides the point.” she rambles on.

You give a light laugh at her ramblings until you realize what she’s talking about. “Oh, the soulmate-enemy names?”

Korra snaps her fingers. “Yeah those things! Those things where one wrist has the name of the person’s enemy and the other wrist has the name of the person’s soulmate but the soulmate’s name is invisible until the person kills their enemy,” Korra clarifies then continues, “it’s really sad though if you think about it. I don’t know how people who receive that ‘gift’ manage to live. It’s kind of haunting if you ask me, having your enemy’s name written permanently on your wrist and all that.”

You turn your head away from Korra and continue to observe the endless sky. “Yeah.” you agree softly.

“I haven’t met anyone having those enemy-soulmate name things yet. It’s very very rare nowadays they say. Only a handful of people in the entire world receive it.” Korra pointed out.

You continue to just stare at the sky and the millions of stars decorating it. It’s peaceful and calming, you just wish you could stay here and lie down with her forever and forget about life and your responsibilities. You wish that you could just stop time and cease to exist for just a moment.

“What would you do?” you hear Korra ask quietly.

“Hm?” you hum in confusion.

“I mean, what would you do if you had that wrist name thing? Would you hunt down and kill your enemy so you that can make your soulmate’s name visible and possibly live happily ever after?” the girl asks in total curiosity.

You continue to stare at the stars a bit longer before turning your head towards Korra. The first thing you see is her eyes. You have to remind yourself that it’s her eyes and not the starry beautiful sky because they’re so breathtakingly gorgeous. You feel your eyes soften and you feel the urge to look away from her as you ponder for your answer. You let out a heavy sigh and turn to look back up at the sky again as you mutter out, “I don’t know, it’s hard to say.”

After a few moments of silence you feel her hand gently touch yours and her fingers find themselves intertwining with yours.

“Yeah I agree.”

You let her hold your hand for the rest of the night but the sting in your heart still pains you.

* * *

 

_ ‘You need to kill the target’ they say, ‘we both share a common enemy, it’d be beneficial for both parties.’ You stare blankly at the bodies of suits. ‘You are an assassin, do not forget.’ _

_ ‘What’s in it for me?’ you narrow your eyes at the company officials. _

_ A woman answers you, ‘We’ll give you a couple thousand yuans for your efforts and troubles to execute this mission.’ _

_ You scoff at the woman not believing a single thing coming out of her ugly mouth, “So you’re saying that I should kill an innocent for what? I may be bloody fantastic at taking out my targets but I am not one to hurt the innocent.’ You slam your fists onto the table in front of you. How dare they? ‘You’ve used me for years to kill men and women to keep this shit company alive because you lousy assholes can’t do anything right. I have killed majority of your opposition but I’ll be damned if you make me kill a fucking innocent that easily.’ You grit your teeth in anger. _

_ You stare furiously at the bodies of suits. You hear a man walk up to you and stand in front of the wooden table that you’re seated at. _

_ ‘We expected you to react this way Ms. Sato and we do not blame you. Indeed the target may be an innocent, but it is a life that would be very beneficial for the development of this great company,’  he straightened his back, ‘the target’s father is one of the greatest enemies of Future Industries and one that we cannot easily defeat. We cannot direct you to kill him for it would cause a lot of dispute and imbalance, a move we are not willing to take since it would also damage our shares. But his child, your target, is an easy yet very effective way to tear down the man.’ You see the man make a small evil smile, ‘Why destroy the enemy on the outside when you can destroy them on the inside instead?’ _

_ You study the man in front of you as he paces the floor. You’re still not convinced, which you presume is very evident on your face because the man clears his throat to continue. _

_ ‘But those details aside, we have all concluded that this mission would be very very beneficial for both parties since we both share a common enemy.’ _

_ ‘A common enemy?’ you ask in utter confusion. _

_ ‘Yes Sato. The name marked on your wrist, your enemy, is the target we would like you to eliminate.’ _

_ You sit there dumbfounded at the man. How is this coincidence even possible? You can admit, you’ve always wondered about your enemy, wondered how they looked like and if they were a bad person. This could be your chance. A chance to find your soulmate too. Your mind is racing with scenarios and thoughts. _

_ The woman steps back up to address you. ‘Kill the enemy and we will reward you with a couple thousand yuans. Kill the enemy and we will be willing to end our partnership with you and never bother you ever again. Kill the enemy engraved on your right wrist and the other shall finally reveal your soul mate.’ The woman leans forward while emphasising her words carefully, ‘kill the target and you will receive all of these things for the small price of taking their life.’ _

_ You feel your heart quicken at her words. Everything you could wish for: money, freedom and a future. It would all be given to you just to assassinate one person. You ponder for a moment, but what was there to think about? Killing isn’t new to you so why should this be anything different? The innocent get killed by other people anyways, so why should this be any different? Why try to be a saint even when your hands have already been soaked with sin by the blood of your previous targets? You feel your stomach churn at the thought but you choose to bypass it. You can’t let this chance pass. _

_ ‘Deal.’ you announce. _

You suddenly wake up with a start while your heart pulses erratically and your breathing becoming heavy. That dream still bothers you on some nights, replaying over and over like your brain insists on reminding about your mission. ‘Is this what I get for accepting this goddamned mission?’ you ask yourself every time.

You shift your attention to your bedside table where your phone lies, its tiny notification light flashing in the dark. After you unlock your phone, you read the text you’ve just received:

[4:01am]  _ ‘Now is your chance Sato. Tomorrow night before the fireworks show. Quietly and in the shadows as usual. Leave the target in a room alone after it is done. Make sure that it is done and make sure there are no evidence leading towards you. It has been a pleasure working with you. Remember, everything you have done is just a mission, everyone involved is just a mission. Goodluck.’ _

* * *

 

You’re leaning back against the cold hard wall of a nearby building close to the Festival grounds. You feel the cold wind blowing through the dark night. You hear the soft yet audible sounds of the autumn leaves rolling around on the ground. You feel the presence of everyone moving around you. You’re ready to take down your target.

Somehow you convinced the crew to go on ahead without you despite their constant insistence for you to join them at the festival (“C’mon Asami, don’t be a lame nerd, let’s all go together!” Korra would say). Your chest tightens at the thought of never seeing any of them ever again. They were just a mission. They were just a cover up to blend into the crowd and not raise any unwanted alarms towards the target. But even so, you couldn’t help but adore each and every one of them. Korra, oh spirits, that girl was the best friend you’ve never had. The girl that you’d tell everything to without fear. You could talk to each other about anything and everything, days on end. You felt complete whenever you were with her, and you loved every minute of it. She was the girl that you would’ve wanted more than a friendship with if you could have met in a different life. Bolin was the little brother you’ve always wanted. The person who you could always count on to brighten up your day with jokes and smiles and having the purest heart ever. He was of course also you’re fangirl buddy and nerd when it came to pro-bending matches. And Mako, well even though he was a frowning little shit most of the time, he was always the one you could depend on. Even when he had his entire schedule packed, he’d drop anything to help you or the other two whenever needed. He was the friend that you could always complain to and he’d just nod and agree with you, and on good days, he’d even add his own shady comments on the matter. You two were the “ShadyDuo” as Korra and Bolin would call it.

Again you feel that stinging pain in your heart, but as usual, you push it away. You’re always good at that anyways. All you do is push people away as far as you can, fearing of getting too attached and involved. Not that you’ve ever had the choice. There’s no love or attachment in this job description. You just fade into the shadows and cease to exist in people’s lives after your job is complete. You’re used to this, you’re supposed to, so you refuse to acknowledge the pain you feel deep inside you.

You quickly stand upright and observe a figure from the distance.  _ Target has been sighted _ . In an instant you forget all your previous thoughts and allow yourself to fall into the moment, the mission. Pulling on your balaclava, you step back into the shadows of the building while eyeing the target. Blue shirt, black hair, black jeans, blue eyes. The target continues to walk away from the Festival, away from the crowds of people. Perfect.

You tail them closely while still hiding from the light and away from plain sight, almost completely hidden in the darkness. You could hear the target talking on the phone as they walk further into the city leading towards the university nearby. You take slow and graceful steps as you follow them into Kyoshi Park, a common shortcut people use to get to the university. You hear the roar of the crowds of festival celebrants die down gradually as you both enter deeper into the park. Finally, after a couple of minutes, your target chooses to sit down on a bench.

“Hey,” you hear them speak into their phone, “where are you? The fireworks are gonna start any minute now! You’re gonna miss it.”

You crouch down low and observe your surroundings. There aren’t as much bushes and plants as you would’ve liked, making it difficult to hide. You spot a tree nearby and skillfully make your way towards it without making a sound. After scaling up the tree, you silently observe your target as they continue to speak into their phone.

“C’mon you nerd, the fireworks are my favourite part of the entire festival. I’d hate to see it without you.” they continued.

You patiently wait atop the oak tree you’re perched on, waiting for the target to shut up and put their phone away. After a number of slow minutes the target shoves their phone into their pocket.  _ Now _ .

Dropping down from your height, you quickly sprint up behind the person and headlock the target before forcing a drugged cloth onto their mouth and nose. The person trashes around violently trying to pry free from your grip. They almost break your restraint but the sleeping drug beats them to it and takes over in a matter of seconds. You feel the entire weight of the now unconscious target slouch backwards into yours.  _ Target captured _ .

* * *

 

You pace the empty room. Well actually, it’s an empty room plus a wooden chair with the target strapped onto it. You slowly wait out the minutes, waiting for time to do the killing. As requested by the higher ups, you’ve just injected the target with a poison. A slow but certainly deadly poison that travels through the bloodstream killing the victim in 5 minutes max. You pace the room once more, ignoring the annoying feeling building up inside you: guilt. You still have the urge to vomit at the thought that you have just sent an innocent to their death. An innocent life just to benefit your own and the shitty company making you do this. But once again you shrug that thought away. There’s no point dealing with ‘what ifs’ when it’s already been done.

You then hear the target stir awake on their chair. You hear them groan in pain as they try to shake their short hair out of their face. Looking towards them, you see the realization in their face.

“W-what’s going on?” she breathes out hard, trying to pull at the tight restraints at her arms and legs, “why am I here?”

You just stare at her, the target’s, face through your balaclava giving her no response. You see the terror in her dark blue eyes. The undefinable terror and confusion in her eyes, until they widen in realization and recognition.

“Asami,” Korra chokes out, “please don’t tell me that that’s you, please.”

You spin around and tear your eyes away from hers. You feel the overwhelming emotion of guilt growing, feasting on your insides.  _ Fucking hell. _

“Asami.” she calls your name.

Again and again but you refuse to face her.

“Asami, just fucking face me I know it’s you. I know that you’ve kidnapped me and I know that you’ve poisoned me,” her voice screams hoarsely, “just fucking face me god damn it!”

You turn and you see the tears threatening to fall out of her eyes. You feel your insides tear apart at the sight, like a monster clawing mercilessly inside you. Blocking the urge to wipe away her tears, you take off your balaclava since there was no purpose for it anymore.

Your voice fails you and cracks, “How did you know?”

Korra scoffs at herself and shakes her head. She looked so weak, the poison was already working its way into her system.

“Who else would kill me other than my own enemy?” she replied.

“What?”

Korra shuffles her right arm around weakly with her restraints. She turns her arm, palm facing up and shows you her right wrist. You read the black print on her wrist and you feel your heart stop.

_ ‘Asami Sato’ _

You try and catch your breath while your chest tightens with every inhale. “Y-you knew all this time?” you fight back a sob, “why didn’t you take the chance to kill me if you knew that I could someday kill you? Korra why? You could’ve been able to find your soulmate.”

You stare at your own name on the girl’s wrist as she weakly answers with all her heart.

“Because Asami, I never saw the reason to. I decided that I don’t need to find my soulmate because I’ve already found love with you.”

“Korra-” you feel your heartbreak tear you  apart from head to toe at her words. She loves you, but you’ve poisoned her to die. She loves you and you love her but you decided to continue the mission. She loves you, but that won’t save her.

You want to cry. You want to scream. But you can’t. You can’t find your voice, you can’t find your breath, you can’t think straight. You just can’t. All you feel is your entire being shatter from where you stand. You feel rushes of emotion: anger, guilt, hopelessness, pain - everything. You want to just want everything to stop but it’s out of your hands and you want to tear your hair out.

But you don’t. You don’t break, or at least you try not to.

“I’m sorry it had to be this way Korra.” you break the harsh silence while desperately trying to fight back your own tears.

You hear her inhales getting weaker. “Me too.” she answers quietly.

Your heart threatens to burst at any moment but you mask everything with an emotionless face. This is still a mission.  _ She is nothing more than a mission, _ you try to force yourself to believe. You try to convince yourself that none of this was real, that none of your feelings and emotions are real. You try to convince yourself all of that just to desperately try and survive these slow painful minutes. But you know it’s all true deep inside and you feel like combusting.

You look up at Korra’s face and you know that she’s entering her last minute or so of her life. The poison is finally shutting her down. You try to fight back the urge but you can’t battle the pain anymore.

After a few seconds of calming your nerves, you slowly take off the restraints on Korra. You thought that it’s the least you can do in her last minute.

Korra suddenly starts coughing up blood and you have to look away. You can’t handle seeing her like this. You feel yourself shaking uncontrollably trying so fucking hard to keep yourself together.

“A-asami.” Korra breathes out.

You fight back another painful sob as you grab her hand. “Yeah?”

“Please tell me that all the time we had was real, and that-” Korra coughs out a weak sob, “and that it wasn’t all just a mission.”

“No no, it was all real Korra.” you grip her hand tighter, “every minute was real Korra. Every single minute.”

You see her let out a small sigh of relief as you start to feel your own tears fall from your eyes.

“Asami, please promise me something.” you barely hear her. Her grip on your hand is getting weaker.

“What is it Korra?” you whisper quietly trying to control your overflowing tears.

“Promise me t-that when you finally see your soulmate’s name, you’ll find them and live a happy life okay?” you hear her sob at her words, “promise me that you’ll live happily after this?”

You fail to fight back your sob while the pain burns you relentlessly inside. “I promise Korra. I promise.”

You promise those words but you can’t picture a future like that. How can you find happiness again when your happiness is dying right in front of you. You love her and only her. And you only want a future with her, no one else. You want her, you need her, you--

Her hand suddenly completely slips from yours.

“No no no no!” you shout as you try to shake her awake. She doesn’t wake up. You check her pulse and it’s not there. You stare at her peaceful, beautiful face but all you want is for your love to wake up. But you know you can’t.

For minutes, hours, you scream at her to wake up. You scream at yourself. You scream at the pain that's tearing you apart piece by piece. You want it to stop but it washes you over and over again mercilessly. You want to wake up from this nightmare but you know deep down that you can’t. You’re broken, shattered, dead inside. You flood with tears.

Eventually you finally settle down and let reality wash over you. This is still a mission. You still need to leave.

* * *

 

With a final kiss on Korra’s forehead and a painful goodbye, you force yourself to leave the building. You end up finding yourself in Kyoshi Park once more, looking up at the stars. You then hear the fireworks display from the Festival. After a couple of minutes you let out another cry. You pull up the sleeve of your right wrist and you see that Korra’s name is gone. Your enemy is gone.

With another painful breath, you turn to your left arm. With a shaking hand you grasp the cuff of your left sleeve and you feel your breath becoming uneven. You then slowly raise up your sleeve and suddenly feel your heart twist as you read your soulmate’s name:

_ ‘Korra’ _


End file.
